Acquired Skills

You may have noticed I start a lot of anecdotes with “When I was in the Peace Corps…” For those new to this blog, I served in Indonesia for three years between 2014-2017 without another volunteer to share my site. At every turn I was told that the skills I learned during my time in-country would be relevant for the rest of my life—hard to believe at the time, but now, amidst a global pandemic, social distancing is this Returned Peace Corps Volunteer’s time to shine.

For three years, I spoke to my friends and family in the States only through Skype. I spoke to my friends in-country mostly on a dumb phone. I eschewed hugs in public as they were culturally inappropriate. Mostly the only time I spent out of my house was going to work and going to the market in my little village. For entertainment I turned to a 1TB hard drive packed with movies and a Kindle. I lived without toilet paper.

I have literally trained for this moment.

A frequent talking point among PCVs at my post was that anyone who thrives as a Peace Corps volunteer must be at least a little introverted—the loneliness found in my first few months at site left me frequently looking inward, in much the same way I think many Americans will be turning inward now that we cannot go out.

Great mie kuah; not great social distancing from Mbak Firqo. (2015)

Somewhat unsurprisingly, I find myself passing time in many of the same ways I did as both a PCV and as an undergrad with a lot of time on her hands: watching movies, chatting with friends (and, in an amusing reversal, my Indonesian host family), and taking Sporcle quizzes. Since the last time I completed all 197 Sporcle-recognized countries of the world, Macedonia has become North Macedonia; Czech Republic, Czechia; and Swaziland, eSwatini. I have been socially isolating for two weeks and as of last night I scored 186/197 countries. I will need to find a new hobby.

The US State Department has advised Americans to leave Indonesia and to cancel all planned travel to the archipelago that was my home; the spread of COVID-19 is largely uncontrolled and in a country that shows respect by shaking hands or pressing the hands of elders to cheeks, lips, noses, and foreheads, I imagine it is spreading rapidly. My best friend in Indonesia Mbak Firqo told me she’s getting married in a month. Per the new government sanctions, her wedding will have only ten guests—this is in stark contrast to traditional Indonesian weddings where hundreds pay their respects to the new couple, the rule being if you can hear the music of the reception, you’re invited. I had always planned to return for her wedding if I could; that won’t happen now.

I worry for my family. My host mother is a midwife who has a practice in her home, with dozens of mothers and young children visiting her daily. When I video chatted with her and the rest of the family a few days ago, they were keenly aware of both the number of reported cases and the number of reported deaths in Indonesia. They asked me if I was working from home because my host father is, however my host mother is essential personnel at the local emergency room. Our connection was breaking up, so I didn’t get to ask if she’s still accepting patients in her home clinic. I hope not.

Something many PCVs are reluctant to admit is that nearly all of us chose service in part because we sought personal growth. It is not necessarily a new culture or a new town that forces change. Sometimes it’s confrontation with ourselves. There’s a meme going around that says “Half of us are gonna come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks and the other half is gonna come out with a drinking problem. There is no in between.” Culture shock sets in after two weeks in a new place; for many of us, I suspect that unrelenting time spent alone is a new place. We may begin to feel some of the symptoms of culture shock: hyper-irritability, odd sleep/eating patterns, and sadness. We all need to find ways to adapt, be it teaching yourself to knit or supporting your local liquor store.  Learning to turn inward is an acquired skill; it’s all too easy to ignore what’s going on inside yourself and binge watch Tiger King, but social isolation is a unique opportunity for reflection.

And this should go without saying, but please stay at home. The people doing the most for us during this crisis—people like my host mom—don’t have a choice.

¿Por qué no los dos?